Motorcycle diaries

Stumbled upon these photographs of the ride to Konkan 2 yrs back. I am shamelessly picking up details from N's blog .

Date: 26th Jan-29th Jan 2007
Ride: 2 Bullets
Kms: 996 kms in 3 days
Starring:
1) N a.k.a - "onsite"- slowdown or not, our man is either in the US or Australia pimping his company to the goras. Bitches about it whenever he has the chance.

2) P a.k.a - "Boss man" - Onsite's ex-boss and good friend

3) A a.k.a -"The Guru" - more weird than most I have met. We worked together in Dubai in 2005.

4) Me



Waiting for the rest. First stop. Breakfast.








En route







Best ghat ever. Roads curve, smooth as silk and one-way.






Lunch/Dinner for most part of the trip







Konkan at night







Bullet on the water. Saved ourselves 2 hrs with this river crossing. With the boatman pissed drunk a bit scary.







The beaches of Chiplun









"The Guru" and I







Video: Listen in.....

Tempers running high on the first night. Lousy route planning did us in.

Cold Turkey

A little over 60 hrs since my last smoke. Have quit for the first time since I started 7 years ago. Don't feel any different other that my mouth being as dry as the Sahara and people around me happy.

25 Things About Me

Guess the bug has got me so here is my list.

1) Am a die hard Maharashtrian and I love Pune- my official "hometown"

2) I studied in 6 different schools across 4 states in India

3) I have fired most handguns the Indian Army possesses and am a marksman (9/10 hits over 3 rounds of firing). Insas, Carbine, LMG, MMG, AK-47, 0.9mm Pistol.

4) I think all kids (boys) should be beaten if necessary. Smack them once and when they start to cry smack them again to show that you mean business

5) It freaked me out for the longest time (till I was 7) to see Gandhi/Nehru etc giving a speech on the TV though they were dead for a long time.

6) A friend of mine had convinced me that there are no mosquitoes in France as the entire nation was cover with a giant mosquito net

7) I put on 31 kg in 9 months.

8) I loved growing up in the 80's where there was no TV, internet, mobiles, when days were spent roller blading, trekking etc and it was ok just to GET THROUGH school.

9) I believe in god. Am just not convinced about the concept of rituals etc

10) I love to smoke. Its the only vice I have.

11) Fantasies: 1) Time travel, 2)Have an army of Terminators (T-1000 model) at my disposal 3)Immortality

12) I have a terrific set of parents and a sister who I fear, respect and love dearly

13) My wife gets along with my folks way better than I do. Am told its rare.

14) S and I are poles apart. All my friends wonder how S married a guy like me. I tend to wonder too.

15) I wish I was taller. I really wish.

16) Am not much of a reader. Give me audio visuals any day.

17) If I could be born in a different era, race, country it would be the 60's in the US when Floyd, The Beatles etc and drugs were young.

18) I married the right women and was born to the best parents. Have the best sis and bro-in-law possible

19) I love my Bullet and I hate people who don't like it

20) I have never voted

21) I have the gift of looking interested and pretending to understand everything in all my social interaction

22) I speak/read/write- English, Hindi, Marathi and pretend to understand Gujarati and Punjabi

23) I have nicknames I can't/wont tell you

24) I would love to stay in Japan for at least a year

25) I love football, chess and tennis. I hate watch women play/perform except in the WWE and synchronized swimming. The men's game is way high on quality to take a step down to watch women play.

Pink Chaddis and Publicity

The digital theater is abuzz with the Pink Chaddi Initiative against the Ram Sena for assaulting and molesting 5 women at a Mangalore pub. NDTV and TOI both covered it recently. Details here

I understand the satire and pun attached but HOW does this achieve anything? Does it show we care? Does it tell the RS we wont be quiet anymore? WHAT?

Having said that, I assume this is the best way to go about it since I cannot come up with any constructive ideas. I can only imagine some of the conversations in various political circles.

Shiv Sena:
New Shiv Sainik: Saar, we pioneered in beating people up and apposing V-Day. How is this new kid on the block taking the glory.
Veteran Shiv Sainik: Forget about it son. You loose some, you win some.

MNS:
MNS chief: Dayam, why didn't I think of that?

Ram Sena:
Pramod Muthalik: ha ha. I could not have planned this better. So much publicity without having to pay that over-priced PR agency!

I know it sounds absurd but the facts are not too far from fiction. Pramod Muthali has political ambition, period. Beating women is a means to an end. The free publicity he gets only makes the organization stronger and better prepared for the upcoming elections.

My conspiracy theories and solutions:
Physical oppression needs a physical response and political oppression a political response.
V-Day in India to a large extent is a corporate scam starring Hallmark and the Archies gallery franchisee. We need to get funding from these guys to get back at people who oppose V-Day. There is no justice like mob justice. The best part is no one goes to jail. Employee a few hundred bouncers for a day and go ransack the RS office. Going rate for a bouncer is INR 800/- for 8 hrs. People in Engineering colleges supporting the cause should make Robots that scare children and can be tweaked to be arsonists.
I, not have come up with any constructive ideas and having opposed all who have come up with some, am going to subject to torture that would equal being given a prostate exam by Hritik Roshan using all his fingers.

Of whiskys and dosas

Decided to have a laaazy lunch at a friend's place yesterday. "Laaazy"....the jury is still out on that one.

Objective:
To spend a lazy Sunday afternoon

Time line:
2pm to 10.30 pm

Team:
R: the host, a.k.a "chic londa" with a loved up bachelor pad and as calm as a dead fish. Suffers from a mild form of OCD

M: Unassuming, patient, sleepy guest. Loves Silk Smitha. Sings like a canary be it Altaf Raja or Kumar Shanu songs

L: M's better half. Hyper, wannabe chef, sucker for etiquette & palm reader. Suffers from OCD

S: my (much)better half. The only non drinker in the group. Cleanliness freak

Me: I do justice to the food. Stupid when normal. Ludicrous when drunk

Methodology:
1 kg mutton keema, 1 kg chicken rassa, 1 kg mutton biriyani, 1 lt dosa batter, 10-15 lts of beer, gin, whiskey and a 32' LCD.
Discussions ranged from Hindu mythology, palmistry, real estate/hospitality sector, to how would we would like to "do" Silk Smitha.

Conclusion:
1) I get real pissed when am woken up by sprinkling water on my face
2) M can sleep peacefully with a plate in one hand and the TV remote in the other
3) Beer does not leave stains on the tablecloth
4) I am not the "only" idiot in the room
5) R will never again invite us over. EVER

Hari......meet my saali

Hari : India
Speaker: Pakistan
Saali: Bangladesh

Brilliance on the part of Pakistan to pin 26/11 on Bangladesh. What next?

Culture

2002:
The last time someone said "culture" to me, was 7 yrs ago at my first job. It was a medical test which included a "urine culture" test, which may be ordered to test for urinary track infection. I remember being confused at the thought of, how my urine could be part of any culture.

2008:
5 women beaten up in Mangalore for ruining "Indian culture" by following "Pub culture". Shri Ram Sena (SRS) emerges from its cocoon like the serpent in the Aliens trilogy. It made sense to me, cause our favorite Lord suspected his wife of infidelity and told her to take the fire test which in my opinion is tougher than the CAT. The difference being she took the test, passed, showed her husband the finger and left his to beat his meat for the rest of his life. Unfortunately the women in Mangalore could not.

SRS has come up with a list of things that destroy Indian Culture. Here is the first draft:
1) Male chefs will be roasted alive. Men do not cook in our culture.
2) Male nurses will be castrated because....WTF, dude.
3) Couples found having sex with the women on top will be caned.
4) Men and women found holding hands will be married off.....be it you with your sister, mum, wife or the arthritis affected grandma. (This is helping inter-religion/caste marriages though)

Hail men power. If you cant sleep with em, beat em....