The Others

I love messing around with peoples belief systems. I love to observe people react when the house of cards that their belief systems were come crashing down. Acting like a sociopath and saying things even though you know they are politically incorrect/wrong makes people very uncomfortable. I love it. Try the following:

1) Say honestly is bullshit, that virtue hold no water- to an old timer. Especially a Gandhian.
2) To a feminist/any human being: Rape is so overrated. Women should grow up a bit.

You get the picture.

The following incidence actually happened. Its not as crazy as the statements above but it was fun:

A friend of mine, lets call him Ajax came over to my house on Saturday and we decided to step out for dinner. Ajax is a Muslim (very important to mention this) born and brought up in Pune, knows Pune and its people very well and speaks flawless Marathi. We go to this little joint on JM road in Pune. We are sitting indoors and get down to taking shit and discussing how cruel the world has been to us etc. We are surrounded by 3 tables, all full of Maharashtrian families and teenagers. Now I am not a racist but I stereotype. The place is bumping with "typical" Hindu Maharastrians. The ones who talk in English with a Marathi accent, love cricket, hate football and go out on saturday night not cause they want to but because its part of the routine. Now for those who have not stayed in Pune its a bit difficult to understand this stereotype so I suggest you stop reading this. The rest....go on.

The place is lively with people chatting and waiters running about. Ajax and I are in the middle of our conversation when his phone rings. Its his friend from "that" part of the city. Ajax picks up the phone and says "Salam Alekum". Dayam, the joint turned into a Chinese Whisper game in an instance with all eyes looking at us as though we were child rapists who got away on a faulty warrant. I nearly choked on my food and started snickering. The place was never the same again. We were outsides. We did not belong. I could not let go of this opportunity.

We paid the bill and were about to leave when I get up from the table and let out a loud "Allah hu Akbar". The expressions were priceless post that. We could not stay long as we were laughing our asses off.

364 days without a smoke

Its been 364 days since I quit smoking....still miss it. I have been told that 95%* of people who quit smoking restart within a year. Guess that is my first top 5% percentile rank in a loooong time.

Its been hard but not as hard as some say it is. Tons of things have happened over the past year. Stuff of joy, sadness, disappointment and excitement. All emotions attracted me towards my trusted friend but I guess I kept my "dark passenger" at bay.
Don't ask me the secret cause there is none. You either do it or you don't.

Wanted to thank all those who supported this endeavour and to those who tempted me to start again - hope all your kids are born deformed :-P

Next target......regular exercise.

*95% - information provided by Puma. If untrue, take it up with him

Rahul Ji v/s Hitler

My first attempt at making a spoof video. This is from the famous stable of Hitler videos. This is a take on when Rahul Gandhi visited Mumbai. Enjoy.



Wanted to thank Ashim for being very patient & helpful, Sandeep for directing me towards the necessary software & Saad for the encouragement and tweeting the post.

I received feedback that some of the references and terms used in the video were confusing. Based on the feedback, here are the explanations:

1) Hello Kitty - is a fictional character produced by the Japanese company Sanrio. Was introduced in Japan in 1974 and brought to the United States in 1976.


2) Cracker - an abusive or slang term for a white person. Cracker- White, dry and tasteless.

3) Albino - albinos lack melanin and are white with no markings and with unpigmented pink eyes. The condition in which the skin looses pigmentation and turns white

4) Veni, vidi, vici (Latin)- written by Julius Caesar in 47 BC which translates as "I came, I saw, I conquered".

5) Hermaphrodite- a hermaphrodite is an animal or plant that has both male and female reproductive organs

6) Italian Stallion - An erotic film starring Sylvester Stallone, originally titled Party at Kitty and Stud's. It also refers to Rahul Baba's Italian heritage.

7) 3G - refers to the 3 Gandhis- Rahul, Priyanka and Sonia. Also 3G spectrum

8) 666 - In Christianity the number 666 represents the number of the beast. The devil.

The serial killer in me

On Indian roads people are scrambling towards their destination as though the apocalypse was around the next bend. Riding on these roads sometimes reminds me of being a baby, when you are tightly wrapped in a cloth so you feel secure. The difference being that while the baby has the luxury of comfort, standing in a mass of people at a traffic jam is close enough for you to catch Herpes from the dude next to you.

Was approaching a traffic signal this morning on the Bullet. The road was infested with traffic like a homeless woman's hair is with lice. The display above the signal read 8 (seconds). I had about 20 meters to cover to beat the light. I knew I could make it....easy as pie. Horns were going off like crazy, rage surrounded us and people were accustomed to the fact that a couple us would not come out alive on the other side of the signal. The car in front of me stops abruptly & boxed me in. I missed the green light.

I was dumbstruck. I felt violated, sad, angry. I was in denial. I felt like I was shown the promise land and then told "That's what you cant have". I felt betrayed. I felt like I had wiped my sick uncle's ass for 5 years and he left all the inheritance to my evil twin instead. Denial soon turned to rage. I was grinding my teeth, broke into a cold sweat and wanted to bleed the guy in the stalled car dry. Its like I was possessed. I blocked out thoughts of family, friends, the law, society, justice and morals. All I wanted to do is kill the guy in the car. I was in the twilight zone, intoxicated and excited. Thankfully I snapped outta it in under a couple of seconds, calmed down and moved on.

I wonder and hope that it remains at a couple of seconds.

(need to stop watching Dexter)

Conversations

With the BJP backing RSS stand on north Indians in Mumbai (Read here), this may be the BJP/RSS-Shiv Sena future.



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