Wednesday, August 26, 2009


Imposing ones views, thoughts, religion etc on others is natural human tendency. It leads to profit. May not be the monetary kind but psychological, sexual etc.

Liberal for me is live and let die. I do not mean apathy be your biggest virtue but to each his/her own suits me fine. My family is very liberal by Indian standards. Dont get me wrong, they had their limits set but are very flexible compared to most humans I came across. I was visiting home sometime back and met my family and some of my wife's family. 2 conversations worth mentioning during one the umpteen gatherings.

1) I have always been "appreciated" by all for helping my wife around the house. I cannot cook to save my life but make wicked rotis when the maid does not turn up. I also make tea, buy vegetables, get the maids to work, clean the house occasionally etc. This "helping" aspect is somehow worth mentioning (by the family) every time we meet. It used to get my goat by my wife told me to let it go cause its something familys discuss. During my last visit when the helping thing came up a cousin of my wife interrupted with:

"Why are we mentioning this all over again? Isn't he SUPPOSED to do the house work? The very fact we mention it makes it special?

For all the liberal thinkers who LET their daughters work, marry the men of their choice and not give sermons on birth control, it is somehow impossible to imagine men doing house hold work. Hardwired into our DNA is the bhartiya sanskriti which does not allow us to stop thinking about this. I looked across the room to thank the cousin and she smiled back.

2) People were discussing marriage. Long lost friends, cousins, foes etc. Do you remember she married that businessman who went under, he married that women with the drinking problem etc. This was working better for me that the sedative I took until 1 statement woke me up.

"Hey, you remember that 2nd cousin who married that women, Mary? They are so happy together even though she is a Christian".

It came out so naturally that all the aunties and uncles around nodded in approval. The bias had surfaced and gone under in a matter of 5 seconds.


Anonymous said...

ya, it may not be politically correct to appreciate a husband who works coz. there is nothing special in it, but I enjoy the attention :) Why would you want them to not discuss it? he he...

Henri said...

I agree it's not a big deal for a guy to share the household work. But it is still uncommon in the vast population! I see it around me day in and day out! And about the religion thing...I am going through a reverse process right now...where someone is trying to come to terms with my "Non-Christianity" :D :D

Montag said...

I like this very much, although I cannot say exactly why: it portrays something that's a bit too complex for me to grasp immediately...housework and making food and religion and family.

I am going to think about this post quite a bit.