Monday, March 16, 2009

Fuck the Panda

Why the fuck should I care about Pandas'? What have they ever done for me? What have they ever done that has profited this world except give a bunch of looser conservationists part time jobs.

People say Pandas are smart. Wrong. Let me tell you something about Pandas. They are dumb. An animal who wont hump to save its own specie is dumb. Procreation being a living beings top instinct and all. They just sit on their asses all day long. They are a complete waste and add to that, they dont hunt. No logical or entertainment value comes outta this. Plus if the current stock of Pandas keep eating they will exhaust the global bamboo supply by 2011.

Can Pandas do any of the following:
1) Run fast enough to star on a betting circuit?
2) Become a Jedi?
3) Replace bulls in a ring?
4) Work for NASA?

The answer to ALL the above questions is NO. I say we need to put them out of their misery.
Get me a Panda that actually does something and then we can talk. And no, the Kung-Fu Panda does not qualify. See, just thinking about Pandas makes one dumber.



8 comments:

Archana Narayan said...

"Why the fuck should I care about Pandas'? What have they ever done for me?"

Has any other animal done anything for you? Do you care a fuck about any other animal? Just curious. :)

Satyajit said...

I love dogs. They bite people you don't like and do tricks.
I like camels too. You seen their expression when they chew? SO much attitude....
Also love all carnivores.

Rakesh said...

You're becoming sadistic by the day... he he

Btw, just to let you know, I applied for a 2-wheeler license yesterday and maybe in a few months, will shop for a second (or even third or fourth) hand HD... Yaaayyy (If all's well that is)

Jack said...

I think it's that China keeps giving us all defective pandas. The DC zoo staff have tried everything to get a breeding pair but superglue them together in the appropriate positions. The Chinese just don't want to lose their panda monopoly. Honestly, panda imports are the only thing that keeps US-Chinese relations going sometimes. They don't know we secretly hate ping pong.

Satyajit said...

Rakesh:
By the day? I always was.
Go for the 2-wheeler license. Riding a HD is like living in a different dimension....so I am told.

Satyajit said...

Jack:
Ha ha. I think the Chinese are going to hit back saying that the DC Zoo has an "inhospitable environment" for mating Pandas. You are not supposed to like Ping Pong. Guess Forest Gump did you guys in.

Jack said...

There's something about that damn zoo...

NY Times:
All of DC Zoo's Rarest Animals Drop Dead

Vaish said...

freakazoid...