Monday, November 24, 2008

To have or not to have

Kids. Love them....for about 20 mins.

No pressure on us to pop one out as yet. I see all around friends, enemies, acquaintances, cousins etc planning, carrying or having babies. I am yet to fully understand "why". Dont get me wrong...I am not against the concept or a kid hater. I just need a better reason to create life.
The cornerstone of the Indian middle class kid's life, has these phases:

Birth- School admission- 10th Boards- 12th Boards- Graduation- PG- Employment- Pay hike-Foreign Tour- Marriage- Kid- 2nd Kid- and the cycle starts again.

Somewhere in between are the birthdays, sports events and puberty. I do not claim that if you follow or have followed this cycle you are ordinary and unhappy. I merely point out that we follow a pattern and you and I are no exceptions. No one has been able to give me a non-emotional (quantifiable) reason to make babies. "Everybody does it" ain't a good enough reason for me to loose sleep, money and my wife's attention. Continue the family name, watch something you create grow, play thing, feels right etc are reasons as pointless and futile as analyzing Govinda's "Raja Babu".

Guess the "it" feeling is yet to set in and reason is yet to give way to emotions. So till then if am told or asked about the "good news" I am tempted to say "drink a shot of Jack Daniels and slap yourself with hawaii chappals" *

*read that somewhere and loved it..


Archana Narayan said...

I read an article that said something along the lines of having a kid is like owning a luxury car . These days people are not having children because they cannot afford it. But thats a different group altogether (not people who question why do I need to have a child).

In India, a year after marriage (they at least allow you a year to enjoy!), people start asking so when you giving us the 'good news'. I think these questions are similar to 'how's the weather' questions in the west. After two years of marriage, the pressure increases. Then, people start telling you horror stories about how blah blah was not able to conceive or that blah blah had to try for x number of years before they had a child. People remind you that you are growing older and may not have the patience required to bring up a kid.

About wanting to have a kid, I don't know whether it is different for a man and whether they do feel the "it" feeling or just give in to their wives. But, you must have a kid when you feel you are ready to have one.

Satyajit said...


yea. frankly there is no pressure on us.... directly. "ready" is a very dicey term. no one knows when until it happens.
our society demands that we follow the cycle mentioned else there is something seriously wrong with you...

Rashmi said...

More & more people today are deciding to not have children & are pretty happy about their decision (i know 5 such couples & from my talks with them, once they set the expectation clear with their family that they don't plan to have children, they have not faced any societal pressures)

& come on, do societal pressures reduce once you have had a child? Not really, then you have pressure of sending your child to the right school, the right classes, so & so activities & the list is endless.

Finally boils down to a couple's decision on how they would like to see their future. So if you can convince Shilpa :-)

Nilesh said...

Most people are in a state of denial that they will ever need kids. Having kids is like any other feeling that you want to experience i guess. Thats making it too simple but yes, its like wanting to be with someone you love. Why do you fall in love? Beats me! You just do cause its natural and we are wired to be. Same goes for wanting to have a baby. Stop calling it a kid, call it a baby and you will see. At some point in life (we aren't there i guess. Men never are!), you just want to do more than live for yourself. I don't know...i'm just mumbling but it sure is hard to explain. :) For men, the right time is when the wife starts wanting one! Never get into the i-will-feel-the-need-when-the-time-is-right mode! Thats for women, not for men!!! :)

ranjit said...

Man i read somewhere that runts now have to be sent to pre-school cuz its not enough that they have a nursery and kg at a tender age of 4.
The reason i`m bringing this up is bcuz my cousin sends his daughter to a pre-school that charges 40,000 a yr.
Pardon my french but FKKKKKK MEEEEEE RUNNING.
I think thats what my dad paid for my entire lives eductaion (an indication to how well i did in life, Thanks for nuthing dad)

My point is that this is ridiculous. If i put 40,000 a yr in a BANK VAULT i`m sure it (the vault) wont eat all my food, shit on the carpets and keep me awake at night. Infact i`ll sleep like RIP WAN. The Vault wont ask for toys and cell phones and bikes n cars and wont secretly do drugs in my house and smoke in the bathrooms and knock up chicks whos kids i`m gonna have to pay for again which will set me back another 40,000 a yr.

There is also a possibility that he`ll do well and got to stanford and become rich but with your luck they could marry someone who doesnt like you or your spouse and then all u did was raise someone to become a complete JERK OFF.

So see my point is just hold onto that money, So say when you`re old u can crawl upto the bathroom of your awesome old age home and have u served food by an ugly ass women named "WHATSOEVER-TAI" and the only visitors u`ll have are the sparrows and squirrels that come to your window. Since u cant eat the food cuz your teeth feel like chalk and anything other than daal-bhaath makes "WHATSOEVER-TAI" change the bed sheets again.

So all u need is a few kids to make sure someone keeps changing the bed pans and the batteries in your remote and to make sure that they continue to take orders without u having to pay them. PLus if they begin to act like you`d be better of dead just remind em of how you raisd them with the love only reserved for the gods (nuthing like fkin guilt to have em shut up for a few more weeks).

SO call your wife/husband and take the day off. Go get dinner in a fancy restaurant, get drunk and start makin some bacon (or like we indians like to say "GIVE US SOME GOOD NEWS")