Monday, November 3, 2008

Sex and Cricket

I have always admired the BCCI for marketing shrewdness rivaled only by Apple Inc. They have spun around one of the laziest game in the world into the gold pot at the end of the rainbow. I always wondered how they did it and it finally struck me when Anil Kumble a.k.a Anal Kumble hung up his gloves.
The answer is mixing cricket with SEX. We are the land of the kamasutra and combining a lazy sport with sex hit the nail on the head for most Indians (Indians being lazy and horny all the time). The signs are all there for us to see. It starts with the pet names we have assigned our cricketers.

1) Anil Kumble - "Jumbo" if I was a girl I would want a husband like Kumble who keeps trying relentlessly all day and has a nickname of “Jumbo” (as in big)

2) Sachin Tendulkar - "Master Blaster" - he will take you to dizzy heights NASA would only dream of

3) VVS Laxman - The "very very special" is a bit too obvious.

4) Virendra Sehwag - "The Butcher of Najafgarh". With a name like that, you know that he can handle "meat".

5) MS Dhoni - "Mahi". Derived from "Mahi Ve" a sensuous Bollywood song. Seems to go a long way...(he he)

6) SC Ganguly- "Dada", "The prince of Kolkata" - We know what a Dada does when you disobey and with "Prince" in your name the courtesans are never be too far. Ask Nagma.

7) Sunil Gavaskar - "Little master" - this name was assigned long before BCCL became bigger than Rambha's bosom. But the WI got a "taste" of the little master who knew how to put to use his "shortcomings".

Not getting into what G. Gambhir, I. Sharma, Z. Khan and lot will be called but I assume they will follow their more respected teammates.

Here is wishing Jumbo the best in life and retirement.


Arjun said...

the idea is quite off the beaten track... but yeah - it gives a good idea on how yu really rate cricket... :-)

Satyajit said...


Idea? All facts dude, and all documented facts.
The point is i don't rate cricket. Think it is totally pointless. Having said that I still blog about it...